


Can You Talk Like a Pirate?

by jujitsuelf



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers (Comic), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Innuendo, M/M, Pirate-talk, Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 01:49:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujitsuelf/pseuds/jujitsuelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In typical Clan Jensen fashion, for her seventh birthday, Hannah decided she wanted a pirate themed party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can You Talk Like a Pirate?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer – All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended
> 
> ****
> 
> Thanks to Cougar's Catnip for the readthough and catching the mistakes before I posted this in public.
> 
> ****

In typical Clan Jensen fashion, for her seventh birthday, Hannah decided she wanted a pirate themed party. Other little girls wanted things like princesses and fairies and ponies, Hannah wanted eyepatches, cutlasses and cannons. Cougar felt a distinct swell of pride.

Jess insisted that if she had to suffer a house full of miniature pirates for a whole day, so did everyone else. Jake gleefully agreed to dress up and help out with party games and serving birthday cake. The rest of the Losers were less willing to sacrifice their dignity but Cougar thought Roque was secretly looking forward to wearing a pirate hat.

They day itself passed without too much incident. Two little girls were sick in the flowerbeds, another accidentally sat on the cat and the rest screamed wildly for three hours straight.

Cougar met Pooch at the medicine cabinet in Jess’ bathroom.

“Aspirin?” Pooch handed him the bottle with a sympathetic wince. “Seriously I’d rather be under heavy artillery fire than listen to that level of shrieking all day.”

“This too shall pass.” Cougar dry-swallowed two of the pills and prayed they kicked in swiftly.

****

Clay made himself very popular with some of the kids’ moms by doing a magic act which kept the little ones entertained for almost half an hour. The frazzled women stood behind the entranced children, silently sipping margaritas and ogling Clay’s legs in his high leather boots and tight breeches. Cougar took one look and had to admit, Clay didn’t look absolutely terrible.

Jensen on the other hand, Jensen looked...well, edible. Absurd tricorn hat aside, he was every inch the dashing pirate, right down to the plastic sword stuck through the sash around his waist. Every time they passed each other on the way to the kitchen to retrieve more cake or drinks or to sneak another medicinal shot of whiskey, Cougar just had to turn and watch Jake’s ass as he walked away. To do otherwise would have been rude.

Eventually the kids went home, most of them still on monumental sugar highs which would take hours to fade.

Jess glanced at the garden and said, “Executive decision, it can wait till the morning. Pirates, you’re all relieved of duty. You did well. Go sack a port or something.”

Clay and Roque instantly left, Cougar didn’t even want to ask where they were going, seeing as they were still wearing their costumes. Presumably Clay knew a brothel which accepted be-costumed customers.

Pooch grinned and made for the safety of the garage, muttering something about taking a look at Jess’ car and improving the fuel consumption.

Cougar turned to ask whether Jake wanted another drink to find that the younger man had vanished.

“Where is he?” he called to Jess.

Jess rolled her eyes and pointed up toward the ceiling. “Go find that buried treasure, me hearty.”

Cougar winced. Jake wasn’t the only one with terrible taste in puns.

At the top of the stairs, he paused. Was that music he could hear coming from Jake’s room? Well, his and Jake’s room, considering they always shared when they came home on leave. He listened more closely. Yep, that was definitely the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack. Not that he knew the music well or anything. He’d only seen the films as many times as he had because Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in pirate outfits were worth suffering Keira Knightly for.

Pushing the door open, Cougar stepped over the threshold and blinked. Jake was stretched out on the bed, smiling at him, still in his linen shirt and dark brown breeches.

“Care to roger the cabin boy?” Jake asked, waggling an eyebrow and turning the music down a notch.

Cougar laughed. “If you expect me to say, ‘permission to come aboard’, I might have to shoot you.”

“No need for that,” Jake reached out and grabbed Cougar’s wrist, pulling him further into the room. “Permission already granted, Captain.”


End file.
